Pennsylvania Highways: Or please can you remove the roadkill?

It's bad enough that I have to drive to and from work on the Schuylkill but must I also see the roadways littered with bloody and bloated animal carcasses too?

Fact:

• Pennsylvania has the highest number of deer-related accidents in the country
• Deer crashes result in at least $1.1 billion a year in vehicle damage (in the country -not just Pennsylvania)
• I couldn't locate much helpful information on who to contact, but I did manage to find a lovely poster about deer safety on the dmv site

Do:

• Call the Southeastern Regional Office of the Pennsylvania Game Commission at 610-926-3136 if you see dead wild animals like deer or elk or raccoons
• Test yourself with this non-related question from the Motorcycle Operator's Manual:

Don't:

• Try and put a wounded animal out of it's misery. For one it's illegal and for another - just how were you planning on doing that?
• Try and help a rattlesnake across the road. I didn't think it needed to be said, but then I saw this...

Because I find this fascinating

Fact:

• I'm a sucker for fountains. But even more so - for the stories behind them

On 9th near Spruce

• This particular fountain was in remembrance for Edward Wetherill who was born in Pennsylvania in February 1821 and who died October 2, 1908
• Even more interesting is that a census reports his occupation as Abolitionist
• He and his family were Quakers and lived at one point at 1413 Spruce street

The city really takes care of its fountains

•  He came from a long line of Philadelphia Quakers mentioned as far back as 1783

Do:

• Visit and peruse Edward's abolitionist letters and collections at the Pennsylvania Historical Society
• Read about other famous Philadelphia Wetherills

Don't:

• Get confused but read this short but fascinating excerpt from the New York Times December 26, 1905 edition about another Edward Wetherill
• Know anything about paint manufacturing? George Wetherill owner of George D Wetherill & Co  - was the first to manufacture white lead in 1804 - which later became Dutch Boy Paint

Things People have said to me on the Street

Fact:

• All sorts of crazy people accost me while I’m peaceably walking 
• This happens to me all over the city
• These are in no particular order or chronology
• It does not include people asking me for directions

 What was said:

• Damn! Anyone ever tell you that you’re built like a black woman? (said by man sitting in front of his low income housing)

• MMMMMMM you sure are juicy! (said by homeless man on bicycle)

• You retarded bitch! (said by mentally ill woman when I didn’t give her money)

• Don’t you know it’s Christmas? (said by homeless man asking me for money on January 4^th)

• SMACK! (no words, but me getting my ass slapped (hard) by Mexican guy on a bicycle)

• Cookie? (asked by homeless man holding a crumpled open box of girl scout cookies in exchange for money)

• Don’t go to North Philly! You’ll die in North Philly! (said by crazy homeless woman)

• MMM Looking good girl! (said by flamboyant queen)

• PUTA! (said by white frat guys in a car)

Why I love the city of Philadelphia and so should you

Fact:

• Because I do love Philadelphia. I may not say it, but it doesn't mean that I don't feel it. I'm just not the demonstrative type - alright? Will you just drop it? I already said I loved Philadelphia why do you have to make such a big deal out of it?
• Philadelphia has historic buildings, beautiful architecture, blooming gardens, and glorious hidden side streets.

• It also has unsentimental hoodlums who think that putting graffiti on fountains and littering is awesome.

Back of fountain on 9th near Pine

Front of fountain on 9th near Pine

• But even the most hardened heart can admit that Philadelphia in the spring is a gorgeous gorgeous place.

Do:

• Walk around the city or you'll miss out on sidewalk plots and impressive facades.

• Watch where you're going. It might surprise you - but you're not the only person strolling on the sidewalk.

• Do look at the window boxes. Rich people pay a lot of money to have them look so good.

Don't:

•  Stop in the middle of the street or sidewalk to talk or gawk. 

• Take a duck tour and obnoxiously blow your stupid yellow kazoo. 
• Hassle Philadelphia inhabitants while directing a bus tour by asking them for some M&Ms.

Philly Driving: Or I wouldn't have bought a car unless I was forced into it

I have a new job and it requires me to drive. On THE SCHUYLKILL. Which means nothing to those not from the area. But if you are from the area then you realized that having a 2 LANE HIGHWAY serving thousands upon thousands of people is not a good idea.

Facts:

• I hate other drivers
• I have no depth perception
• I curse like a sailor when I drive 
• Driving in Philadelphia is a special sort of torture

Do:

• Complain to the city of Philadelphia. The amount of potholes on our city streets is outrageous. Going down 21st street reminds me of this: (but with actual potholes and not in French)

• Use your turn signal. It's not a choice. It will prevent accidents and me screaming and flipping you the bird.
• Plan a playlist, listen to an audiobook or have satellite radio. It will make your idling in traffic slightly more bearable.
• Let people in when lanes are merging. Really. It would make things go more quickly.
• Have city street lanes defined. I have no idea which are one lane streets versus two lane streets until someone honks at me.

Don't:

• Take the Schuylkill between the hours of 6:30am-10am and 2pm-7pm. (Or at all if you can help it.)
• Forget your GPS. It will help if you decide to take a "shortcut" off of I-76.
• Weave in and out of traffic like you're at NASCAR. You're not. Also, you're going to cause an accident which will make me late for work.
• Get behind a bus when driving in the city. They don't actually care that you're stuck behind them. 
• Honk your horn in the city just because I'm not turning as soon as the light turns green - there's a reason and they're called PEDESTRIANS. THEY HAVE RIGHT OF WAY.

Gollum: or the Frank Sinatra mural

A picture really is worth a thousand words.

Location: S Broad Street and Wharton
Artist: Diane Keller (She's to blame for several other murals in the city)
Part of the Mural Arts Program in Philadelphia.
Completed: 11/1/99

Thanks to Matchstick Girl for pinning down that this is Gollum.

King of Prussia Mall - only a bus ride with a junkie hooker away

I've been extremely lax in my blog - and I apologize. But I have a new job starting this Monday and it requires effort to be back in the 9-5 working world. Effort such as buying new clothes. And to buy new clothes I made the sacrifice and went on a pilgrimage to mecca (no disrespect intended it's just that if you prayed to the god of consumerism then this is your temple) - or as others may know it "King of Prussia Mall."

Facts:

• King of Prussia Mall is the largest mall on the East Coast.
• The Mall is divided into two sections: the Plaza and the Court.
• The Plaza side opened in 1963.
• There are over 400 stores and restaurants. Most of them upscale ie Betsy Johnson, Stuart Weitzman, chick-fil-a...
• It is a real pain in the ass to get there from the city.
• There actually was a King of Prussia. Many of them, I imagine. However, the name originates from an 18th century local tavern called "The King of Prussia Inn" named after Frederick II, King of Prussia.

Location:
King of Prussia Mall is located at 160 North Gulf Road. You can take a bus (but DON'T). If you do (DON'T) you can catch the 124 or the 125 from Market Street. There is no train that takes you there directly.

Do:

• Try their iphone app. Because shopping can never be too pretentious.

Don't:

• Take the bus. No, really, please - DON'T DO IT.  Ask a friend for a ride because taking the local bus is:
• a) long 
• b) not always on time 
• c) awkward when you are trying to avoid the junkie hooker's eyes.

PS. In an effort to be honest - that bus ride described above was actually taken this summer. Today I drove.