Things People have said to me on the Street

Fact:

• All sorts of crazy people accost me while I’m peaceably walking 
• This happens to me all over the city
• These are in no particular order or chronology
• It does not include people asking me for directions

 What was said:

• Damn! Anyone ever tell you that you’re built like a black woman? (said by man sitting in front of his low income housing)

• MMMMMMM you sure are juicy! (said by homeless man on bicycle)

• You retarded bitch! (said by mentally ill woman when I didn’t give her money)

• Don’t you know it’s Christmas? (said by homeless man asking me for money on January 4^th)

• SMACK! (no words, but me getting my ass slapped (hard) by Mexican guy on a bicycle)

• Cookie? (asked by homeless man holding a crumpled open box of girl scout cookies in exchange for money)

• Don’t go to North Philly! You’ll die in North Philly! (said by crazy homeless woman)

• MMM Looking good girl! (said by flamboyant queen)

• PUTA! (said by white frat guys in a car)

Why I love the city of Philadelphia and so should you

Fact:

• Because I do love Philadelphia. I may not say it, but it doesn't mean that I don't feel it. I'm just not the demonstrative type - alright? Will you just drop it? I already said I loved Philadelphia why do you have to make such a big deal out of it?
• Philadelphia has historic buildings, beautiful architecture, blooming gardens, and glorious hidden side streets.

• It also has unsentimental hoodlums who think that putting graffiti on fountains and littering is awesome.

Back of fountain on 9th near Pine

Front of fountain on 9th near Pine

• But even the most hardened heart can admit that Philadelphia in the spring is a gorgeous gorgeous place.

Do:

• Walk around the city or you'll miss out on sidewalk plots and impressive facades.

• Watch where you're going. It might surprise you - but you're not the only person strolling on the sidewalk.

• Do look at the window boxes. Rich people pay a lot of money to have them look so good.

Don't:

•  Stop in the middle of the street or sidewalk to talk or gawk. 

• Take a duck tour and obnoxiously blow your stupid yellow kazoo. 
• Hassle Philadelphia inhabitants while directing a bus tour by asking them for some M&Ms.

Philly Driving: Or I wouldn't have bought a car unless I was forced into it

I have a new job and it requires me to drive. On THE SCHUYLKILL. Which means nothing to those not from the area. But if you are from the area then you realized that having a 2 LANE HIGHWAY serving thousands upon thousands of people is not a good idea.

Facts:

• I hate other drivers
• I have no depth perception
• I curse like a sailor when I drive 
• Driving in Philadelphia is a special sort of torture

Do:

• Complain to the city of Philadelphia. The amount of potholes on our city streets is outrageous. Going down 21st street reminds me of this: (but with actual potholes and not in French)

• Use your turn signal. It's not a choice. It will prevent accidents and me screaming and flipping you the bird.
• Plan a playlist, listen to an audiobook or have satellite radio. It will make your idling in traffic slightly more bearable.
• Let people in when lanes are merging. Really. It would make things go more quickly.
• Have city street lanes defined. I have no idea which are one lane streets versus two lane streets until someone honks at me.

Don't:

• Take the Schuylkill between the hours of 6:30am-10am and 2pm-7pm. (Or at all if you can help it.)
• Forget your GPS. It will help if you decide to take a "shortcut" off of I-76.
• Weave in and out of traffic like you're at NASCAR. You're not. Also, you're going to cause an accident which will make me late for work.
• Get behind a bus when driving in the city. They don't actually care that you're stuck behind them. 
• Honk your horn in the city just because I'm not turning as soon as the light turns green - there's a reason and they're called PEDESTRIANS. THEY HAVE RIGHT OF WAY.

Gollum: or the Frank Sinatra mural

A picture really is worth a thousand words.

Location: S Broad Street and Wharton
Artist: Diane Keller (She's to blame for several other murals in the city)
Part of the Mural Arts Program in Philadelphia.
Completed: 11/1/99

Thanks to Matchstick Girl for pinning down that this is Gollum.

King of Prussia Mall - only a bus ride with a junkie hooker away

I've been extremely lax in my blog - and I apologize. But I have a new job starting this Monday and it requires effort to be back in the 9-5 working world. Effort such as buying new clothes. And to buy new clothes I made the sacrifice and went on a pilgrimage to mecca (no disrespect intended it's just that if you prayed to the god of consumerism then this is your temple) - or as others may know it "King of Prussia Mall."

Facts:

• King of Prussia Mall is the largest mall on the East Coast.
• The Mall is divided into two sections: the Plaza and the Court.
• The Plaza side opened in 1963.
• There are over 400 stores and restaurants. Most of them upscale ie Betsy Johnson, Stuart Weitzman, chick-fil-a...
• It is a real pain in the ass to get there from the city.
• There actually was a King of Prussia. Many of them, I imagine. However, the name originates from an 18th century local tavern called "The King of Prussia Inn" named after Frederick II, King of Prussia.

Location:
King of Prussia Mall is located at 160 North Gulf Road. You can take a bus (but DON'T). If you do (DON'T) you can catch the 124 or the 125 from Market Street. There is no train that takes you there directly.

Do:

• Try their iphone app. Because shopping can never be too pretentious.

Don't:

• Take the bus. No, really, please - DON'T DO IT.  Ask a friend for a ride because taking the local bus is:
• a) long 
• b) not always on time 
• c) awkward when you are trying to avoid the junkie hooker's eyes.

PS. In an effort to be honest - that bus ride described above was actually taken this summer. Today I drove.

Mario Lanza Institue and Museum - or a place so small you've probably missed it

Facts:

Fancy!

• Mario Lanza was born in 1921 at 636 Christian Street.
• His birth name was Alfredo Arnold Cocozza.
• As a young boy he listened to opera records and trained with a local music teacher, Irene Williams.
• He was discovered by a famous conductor, drafted into the Army, and then later worked with MGM in Hollywood showcasing his amazing operatic tenor.
• His film, "The Great Caruso", was the top grossing film in the world in 1951.
• He left Hollywood to move to Italy and died in Rome in 1959 of a heart attack.
• The Mario Lanza museum is next to St Mary Magdalen de Pazzi Church. 

St Mary Magdalen de Pazzi Church

Do:

• Visit the museum at 712 Montrose Street on the first floor of Columbus House.
• Call before visiting - they might be closed. Their hours are Monday through Wednesday and Friday through Saturday from 11:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m.
• Visit their website.

Entrance to  the museum

Don't:

• Worry about admission. It's free, though donations are accepted.
• Know what to expect? The museum houses Mario Lanza memorabilia and has items for sale. 
• Miss his mural at the corner of Broad and Reed.
• Worry. I had no idea who he was either.

Pennsylvania Hospital - or the oldest hospital in the United States

Facts:

• I haven't posted as much recently because I have been interviewing and looking for jobs. 
• You probably don't care about that.
• Another unrelated fact? The woman in the apartment next door thinks that we live in a slum and that it's okay for her to leave her trash in the hall.

• This is the first hospital in the United States and founded by Benjamin Franklin and Dr. Thomas Bond in 1751.
• The building below is still in use.

• The hospital was, and still is, a teaching hospital.
• It held the first Medical Library and in 1847 was designated the largest medical library in the country by the American Medical Association.

Do:

• Come for a tour. Guided tours are available on Thursdays and Fridays, at 10:00 AM and 1:00 PM. You can also take a self-guided tour, Monday through Friday, during normal business hours. Pennsylvania Hospital recommends a $4.00 donation for the guided tours; $2.00 for the self-guided tour brochures. To register for a guided tour, call 215.829.3370. 
• Look at the hospital in the spring time. The blooms make the garden gorgeous.

Don't:

• Wait too long in the spring. The garden blooms for only a few short weeks. 
• Know where to go? The hospital is located at 800 Spruce Street.